[Editor's note: Tomorrow is Ben's birthday. He will be 20 yrs old. Happy Birthday, Ben!]
Wow! That was quite the story. That is quite the 4th of July you all had!
First of all, I don't have a ton of time today. We have a district activity today and that is going to start in an hour and I still have to go get food for the coming week. So we shall see how much I can get typed out here with the little time I have.
Hmmmm How to start. Well, I can start by saying that this week was a disappointing one for me. I'm not saying that I'm super down or anything like that. I just mean things didn't go according to plan. Miracles were seeming to be falling into place. It was awesome. But then at the last minute, the forming miracles came to a crashing halt. That was disappointing. But as I tried to think on the bigger picture, I realized that what I am witnessing is called agency. And agency can be disappointing when we abuse it. I cant even imagine how disappointed Heavenly Father must feel at times when he observes us abusing our gift of agency.
But even though there were some major disappointments towards the end of the week, we had some super duper awesome experiences earlier in the week. And in those experiences, my testimony in the Gospel of Jesus Christ was strengthened. The gospel of Jesus Christ, the gospel that I have the opportunity to teach, just has to be true.
I think some of the coolest experiences I had this week came to me during teaching opportunities. There have been times in my mission where the pressure to respond to the question that I am being asked causes me to crumble and answer the question in the "safe" or "easy way out." But this shouldn't be. The Lord has promised his missionaries that as they prepare and seek his word, that the words will be given them in the very moment that they need it. I can testify that this promise is true.
Every morning, I seek the word. I have 3 hours to do it (1 hour of personal study, 1 hour of companionship study, and one hour of 12-week training program study with Elder B). Sometimes I even have an extra 1/2 an hour if I choose to read the book of Mormon in Spanish for my Language study. Three to three and a half hours of study a day is a blessing that not everyone has. But I do. And that preparation time allows me to be fulfil the promise of D&C 11:21 to preach the word in the way that God would have me preach it... by his spirit, and in his way. And his way is different for every person. It isn't a memorized phrase or series of phrases.
In the past, preparation for a talk in church, used to mean that I would write every single word out. And in the past, preparations for my lessons as a missionary were prepared in a very similar way. But this should not be. As I have tried to step away from my crutch of notes where every word is written out, I have learned to have more confidence in the promise of D&C 11:21 And that promise is an amazing promise to have. The Lords ways just work better.
This week, I had many moments in which after responding to a question, I would think, "Did I really just say that? I have never thought of it that way before? Where did that come from?" There have even been other times where after opening my mouth to respond to a question, I realize that I, with words that left my own mouth, had just learned a new treasure about the gospel. Its after these moments where I think.... "Hmmm I should verify that one to make sure I truly did follow the spirit and it wasn't just the Gospel according to Elder Ostler that I taught... yea it makes sense, but just to be safe, I better double check." And after verifying with the scriptures and preach my Gospel, I can still say that the Lord fulfills his promises. The church just must be true.
Well,
Love you All!
Elder Ostler
