First things first. Last week and the week before, I got a TON of mail! Like more than I ever received at once even in the MTC! I feel so blessed to have such wonderful support from family and friends. Thank you everyone for your awesome Letters! I loved hearing from you all. Maybe someday, when I get a non busy P-day, I will have time to write back to you all. But until then, I hope you are satisfied keeping up with whatever my mom posts for you to read on the blog. I think my favorite letter of all was from Jefferson Ostler. What a ballerific stud that kid is. Thank you Jefferson for your awesome story about member missionary work! I'm amazed at your skills, but most definitely not shocked. You inspire me. Also, I forget if it was sent to me by my Mom or by Aunt Delene, but I loved the story that Saydi wrote which compared our preparation journey in this life to essay writing. That was impressive. I read it one night after nightly planning and as I went to bed, my mind wandered for an hour or so on the truth of that comparison. And what an amazing comparison it was. I loved it.
And thanks mom! I would love the acne treatment stuff. Thanks for thinking of me. Funny note about my acne: while it has gotten a LOT better, its not terribly uncommon that young children comment on it. The majority of Latino children are blessed with perfect complexions... or at least the ones that I talk to. Anyways, there are a few families we visit where the children have absolutely no idea what acne is. They are convinced of one of two things 1) that I need to wear insect/spider repellent when I go to bed so the bugs can't bite me when I'm sleeping 2)that I need to stop whoever it is who is poking my face with needles. It is sweet of them to be concerned about me.
This week has been a thoughtful one for me. I have been doing a lot of self introspection. A lot of trying to figure out how I can become the missionary my Heavenly Father wants me to be. I'm not there yet. But I'm going to keep trying to get there. I'm assuming that this is normal in the life a missionary... to spend time thinking about how to become the missionary their Heavenly Father expects them to be. At the very least, I'd like to believe I'm not the only one who has ever felt inadequately prepared to fulfil his Heavenly Father's expectations. ;) Gotta hope so anyway.
But one thing that has been re-emphasized to me this week, is the amazing power there is in specific and sincere prayer. The Lord will answer my prayers as I strive to fulfil his will for me. One such experience was in my finding skills this week. I have been praying for the ability to recognize and find the people who are willing and ready to first listen and second act according to the message we bring them: The Restored Gospel of Jesus Christ. Why have I been praying for this? I feel like this is one aspect of many in my work as a missionary that is in need of great improvement. And another reason, (probably why the first reason became apparent to me) Elder P told me that he wants to learn how to contact/find from me this transfer. Yikes! Realizing that I'm not extremely good at finding people either makes me feel like a horrible candidate as a TEACHER for this aspect of missionary work.
But rather than tell him about my own personal doubts in my finding skills, I decided to adopt an attitude that was taught to me so excellently by Elder Ingram: "Fake it till ya Make it" That attitude, along with some specific prayer, and willingness to act with the expectations to receive (or "Fake it till I Make it", however you want to look at it) has worked miracles in my finding efforts. I can testify with assurity that as we put forth all our efforts to fulfill our prayers, that the Lord will help us out with what we lack. And that is a wonderful testimony to have. Elder Ingram and I always joked around about this, "We are not much, but we are all He's got right now." - Elder Ben Ostler. Elder Ingram was a huge fan of that quote... he said he would take it with him to every other companionship he has for the rest of the mission. It's a funny one for sure... or at least we thought it was. But now, I'm starting to realize how true it is. We are not much. But we are all God's got here in this area for right now. So he is going to help us become what he needs us to be. And he is going to make the most of what he's got. I'm a missionary doing God's work. And he will help me be successful. How comforting and inspiring that is to me.
Well, I love you all!
Your missionary,
Elder Ostler
